What Life Are You Living?

This past week I had an interesting coffee conversation with a friend about "what kind of a lives" we were living. Especially in these times of economic stress it's quite common for people to re-examine their lives and think carefully about their priorities, so this conversation was both timely and apropos. We both shared highlights of our current life events including our careers, relationships, special "projects" or interests, and also our hopes and dreams for the future--a good time to pause and ponder, something I truly enjoy doing as much as possible!

When I returned to my desk I saw something that perfectly complimented our conversation. It was a small article from a newspaper written by an 85-year old woman about how she was reflecting on her life with a bit of remorse at the things she'd wish she'd done if she could live her life over--a letter to prompt its reader about the importance of opportunity and appreciation. Somehow I'd kept this clipping for many years and each time I found myself in a new job or new office, this piece of paper managed to make the journey along with me. I usually ended up hanging it somewhere within plain view so I could be reminded to focus on what's important when I'd lost focus.

This week I'd like to share that small, yet powerful, letter with you. May you also be reminded to take the opportunity and say, do, and experience what truly makes you happy.

Peace.

The Ambassador of Goodwill

If I Had My Life to Live Over

I'd like to make more mistakes next time.
I'd relax. I would limber up. I would be sillier
than I had been this trip. I would take fewer
things seriously. I would take more chances. I
would climb more mountains and swim more
rivers. I would eat more ice cream and less beans.
I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but
I'd have fewer imaginary ones.

You see, I'm one of those people who live sensibly
and sanely hour after hour, day after day. Oh, I've
had my moments, and if I had it to do over again,
I'd have more of them. In fact, I'd try to have
nothing else. Just moments, one after another,
instead of living so many years ahead of each day.
I've been one of those persons who never goes
anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water
bottle, a raincoat, and a parachute. If I had to
do it again, I would travel lighter than I have.

If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot
earlier in the spring and stay that way later in
the fall. I would go to more dances. I would ride
more merry-go-rounds, I would pick more daisies.

Nadine Stair
85-years old
Louisville, Kentucky

Relax

Accepting Your Decisions

Until a few years ago, I would regularly feel disappointment when the outcome of a decision I’d made didn’t turn out as planned. I felt I'd made a "wrong" decision and I would focus on how I should have chosen differently. This was until I realized every decision I made is, indeed, always the “right” decision at the time—it all depends on how you look at it. How can that be possible? Because life is a process of growing, and making choices (and mistakes) is an integral part of the growing process!

The basis for this belief is in respecting yourself. Whether you make (what you consider) a good decision or not, you need to respect and support yourself--believing that you’re making the best choice with the information you have at the moment. If, later down the line you realize that you didn’t make the “best” choice (i.e., the outcome of our decision did not turn out favorably), you have the opportunity to learn how to accept the outcome as a learning experience.

Love and accept yourself as you are—but also love and accept yourself as you were… even if who you were has caused you disappointment. You cannot know what the future holds; you can only choose what you feel is best at that precise moment. After the decision has been made you can choose to be disappointed by the results or you can accept them, love them, and treat them as life lessons and a necessary part of your journey. For without decisions with “less than desirable consequences”, how would you have the opportunity to know what not to do?

Next time you are faced with the unexpected outcome of a decision think about what you choose to believe—think about your perspective: Crisis or Catharsis? Obstacle or Opportunity? Instead of blaming yourself for your decision, think again—accept your decision and the undesired consequences as signals to learn from your choices and use the opportunity to look for the “lesson in the learning”. This is a perfect time to love and accept yourself and your decisions as necessary steps down your road of discovery. Besides, once you learn to accept all of yourself you will be able to accept others--and that equals a win-win situation!

Be Well.