A Spirit of Gratitude

Thank you. Merci. Gracias. Tak. Kiitos. Mahalo. Shukriya. Danke. Grazie. Dhanyabaad. Shukran. Salamat. Just some of the many languages in which I've had the privilege of learning how to say, "Thank you". Giving thanks is an expression of gratitude, which is a critical step in the giving and receiving cycle - it completes the loop.

So, what is the loop, you ask? The loop is the cycle that begins and completes the flow of conscious creative energy. In other words, the act of manifesting a unique experience through the process giving and receiving. But do all our these experiences turn out to be happy and joyful? Not so much. Well, at least not a first... but therein lies the role of gratitude - it allows us to change our perspective.

For example, the other day I was sitting with a friend and we were talking about her dissatisfaction with her current job. When she first started this job she was very happy with the opportunity - the environment appeared to support her, the job itself was fulfilling, and she felt comfortable with the leadership. Her decision felt well balanced. Over time, however, the circumstances in her work environment changed. Now she felt constricted rather than expanded; her manager chose to lead using fear-based behaviors, like control and anger, over supportive and empowering actions; and she lost interest in the job itself. This, unfortunately, is not uncommon for many of us. She realized the situation had become imbalanced.

So, what to do now? Ah yes... the $100,000 question (which has probably gone up in price since the recent economy swing). As we were talking more about how she was feeling it became apparent she was experiencing what she "doesn't want". When we recognize what we don't want, we start to receive more clarity about what it is we do want - that is, if we're paying attention. Our immediate experiences provide us with contrast, and this contrast gives us the opportunity to make new, higher (more peaceful and comfortable), choices. Whether we choose to change our immediate situation (in this case, quit her job) or consider creating something new in the future (i.e., start looking for a new job), we have the power to change our minds. This decision-making process gives us the opportunity to honor our true desires - our highest intentions - and in return, helps us stay in our integrity. By listening to our intuition we demonstrate respect for ourselves and our choices regardless of the outcome. And respecting ourselves and our choices is the most important action we can take in any experience.

After our conversation I could feel a sense of lightness about her attitude and a sense of gratitude for this "bad" experience she was feeling. By choosing to focus on what we are learning in any given circumstance and expressing our gratitude to recognize it for what it is, our act of thankfulness shifts our feelings of constriction and hopelessness to feelings of freedom and hope. When we expand our minds we expand the choices available to us.

This week I encourage you to pay attention to those moments which disguise themselves as frustrating, aggravating or hopeless and give thanks for the awareness these opportunities are providing you. With a gentle shift in your perspective, you, too, may be able to say "thank you" in any language - especially the language of your heart.

Make 2011 a year of gratitude!

The Ambassador

What is The Balance Factor?

The Balance Factor began with two very different life-altering conversations.

The first occurred in 1996 when a good friend and I stood in front of a hand-drawn picture on his wall depicting three rings: yellow, red, and blue, each intersecting one another like the rings of the Olympic symbol. I asked him what this picture meant and he replied, “Balance of mind, body, spirit. Three domains of energy each on its own, yet united in equal portions create balance.” I understood what he meant right away for he had articulated something I’d also observed—there’s a sense of balance in life, and this balance is found through a harmonious blending of the mind, body, and spirit.

The second conversation was with myself, thanks to Shirley MacLaine in the The Evening Star (the follow-up film to Terms of Endearment), when her character, Aurora, states, “I have come to the conclusion there’s no such thing as a mistake; I think we all create what we need.” When I heard those words I had another light bulb moment. Until then, my focus was on the external factors bringing me insight into the meaning of my past and present, but Aurora's words triggered my focus to move inward. I suddenly realized the process of creation actually begins inside of me. My outer experience is merely a reflection of what’s happening on the inside! This inner perspective resonated with me for several days. I wondered, could I really have a hand in creating my experiences, including my mistakes? Could I truly be the creator of both my “good” and “bad” experiences?

Eventually I came to the conclusion that I was, indeed, creating my own experience by managing my response to what was happening around me. Even though my reactions were natural and rather spontaneous (part of the human animal), I could choose my responses. I had a hand in creating every thought I’d been thinking, choice I’d been making, consequence I was experiencing—every joy and every pain! But the deepest truth was that all of it was necessary. Each mistake was an opportunity in disguise—a lesson to learn more about who I really was.

I began to focus my energy on paying more attention to the idea that my mind, body and spirit each played an integral part in determining my thoughts, feelings and intuition. As my awareness of how they were all connected increased, so did creating new experiences become my new reality. It was a moment of truth when I realized that I was truly the artist of my own life – I finally felt alive, awake and empowered. Through a three step process of 1) Awareness, 2) Alignment, and 3) Activation, I've been able to use this perspective of mind, body and spirit to help assist me with every decision I make. I can now listen to all three: thoughts, feelings and intuition! And, in return, my decisions (and outcomes) are in alignment with my current state of being. This is good!

My questions to you: How do you engage your mind, body and spirit in your life? How much balance do you feel? How can a change in your awareness lead you to a more balanced perspective? Why am I asking you so many questions? Because when you ask questions, you get answers... sometimes when you least expect them!

Just remember: Ask and you shall receive.

Happy Autumn!

The Ambassador

Accepting Your Decisions

Until a few years ago, I would regularly feel disappointment when the outcome of a decision I’d made didn’t turn out as planned. I felt I'd made a "wrong" decision and I would focus on how I should have chosen differently. This was until I realized every decision I made is, indeed, always the “right” decision at the time—it all depends on how you look at it. How can that be possible? Because life is a process of growing, and making choices (and mistakes) is an integral part of the growing process!

The basis for this belief is in respecting yourself. Whether you make (what you consider) a good decision or not, you need to respect and support yourself--believing that you’re making the best choice with the information you have at the moment. If, later down the line you realize that you didn’t make the “best” choice (i.e., the outcome of our decision did not turn out favorably), you have the opportunity to learn how to accept the outcome as a learning experience.

Love and accept yourself as you are—but also love and accept yourself as you were… even if who you were has caused you disappointment. You cannot know what the future holds; you can only choose what you feel is best at that precise moment. After the decision has been made you can choose to be disappointed by the results or you can accept them, love them, and treat them as life lessons and a necessary part of your journey. For without decisions with “less than desirable consequences”, how would you have the opportunity to know what not to do?

Next time you are faced with the unexpected outcome of a decision think about what you choose to believe—think about your perspective: Crisis or Catharsis? Obstacle or Opportunity? Instead of blaming yourself for your decision, think again—accept your decision and the undesired consequences as signals to learn from your choices and use the opportunity to look for the “lesson in the learning”. This is a perfect time to love and accept yourself and your decisions as necessary steps down your road of discovery. Besides, once you learn to accept all of yourself you will be able to accept others--and that equals a win-win situation!

Be Well.