Reframing Events

Photo by D. A. Garriss

When looking back on the events of our lives we often recall memories that carry an emotional charge. The feelings evoked from memories can be positive: those of happiness, joy and enthusiasm; but they can also be negative and bring back memories of pain, anger, and resentment. So how do we use memories to serve us rather than hurt us? We learn to reframe.

Many times our memories can serve us well. Through the process of reminiscing, recall of positive memories can aid in healing depression or just lift your spirits! We can use positive memory triggers such as a pictures, songs, old love letters, etc., to evoke feelings of happiness and contentment. You will notice this type of behavior most commonly demonstrated in people as they age. By being in touch with our “sentimental side", we are able to invoke memories that bring us continued happiness and a feeling of well-being.

Our memories can also be sources of pain and turmoil. Negative feelings from memories are often a result of unresolved issues or unexpressed emotions associated with an event or person, and since these issues have not been resolved they carry a large burden of repressed emotions in connection with them. These memories may be from childhood - a time when we were not mature enough to understand how to deal with event or circumstance - so the lack of maturity and insight may have caused us to feel like a victim, whether or not we actually were. By nature, we conjured up the human “fight or flight” response, in which our bodies automatically protect themselves and moved into a state of denial. This denial only caused the associated feelings to be repressed in the mind and body where they will stay until eventually released... or not.

People spend millions of dollars each year to open old wounds and re-visit painful memories to try and make sense of them. Many methods such as counseling, meditation, rebirthing, hypnosis, therapy, etc., seek to uncover the roots of repressed memories and apply present wisdom to help release and heal them. Whichever method(s) you choose it's important to release any memories which have been repressed in the mind and body, for unexpressed emotions are the root of dis-ease.

Once we have released the associated repressed emotions (hurt, anger, fear, resentment, etc.) we can learn to look at the event in a new light. This can be achieved by reframing the event, or using a new and different perspective. Reframing includes revisiting an event, remembering the words that were said, actions that took place, reactions and thoughts that were playing through your mind at the time, and then remembering the conclusion you made based on those variables. When we undergo this process we may realize maybe we were wrong in our assumptions or conclusions. Now we are forced to examine those assumptions to see if they are still valid. We may often assume that we were at fault for the outcomes of events when the reality is that we were not at fault at all. By reframing the event with an updated understanding we can see the true reality that was underlying the event all along.

Above all else, reframing events allows us to learn to accept. Acceptance is a critical step in personal evolution as it honors the relationship between you and the rest of the world. To learn how to accept events and people as they are will be a catalyst for your continued growth, and reframing will allow you to understand the memories of your life with an attitude of acceptance, appreciation and gratitude - no matter what the events are or may have been.

This week, take the opportunity to think about where there may be opportunities for healing in your life. Could reframing help you to move beyond pain and into resolution? Give it some thought.

Be Well.

The Ambassador of Goodwill