Boundaries: The Castle Metaphor

Respecting each others’ boundaries is a critical component in all relationships. Boundaries are limits created by you to protect your values and demonstrate to others which behaviors you will, and will not, accept from them. Creating healthy boundaries helps to create a better sense of self esteem and respect for yourself and others.

For the sake of argument (and to have a little fun), let’s go medieval for a minute and equate personal boundaries with visiting someone’s castle. When you are in someone’s castle you need to be polite and respectful while you are there. Why is this so important? For starters, being allowed to enter into someone’s castle shows they respect you enough to let you into their personal space – basically, they’ve let down their drawbridge. If you can appreciate this fact, you will feel special and respected. But if you don’t appreciate it, you may meet an undesirable fate (see below). Thus, it is critical that you follow the “Rules of the Castle”:

Rules of the Castle

1. Do not steal. This includes taking ANYTHING that isn’t yours to take including physical objects, thoughts, ideas, or attention. Remember: it’s not all about you.
2. Be polite. Always say “Please”, “Thank you”, and “You’re welcome”.
3. Always ask if you are unsure. Assumptions lead to expectations and expectations become seeds of disappointment.
4. Pick-up after yourself. When you are done working or playing pick up your things (books, toys, swords, etc.) and put them back for the next time or the next person.
5. Don’t be selfish. This includes greed and possessiveness. Share and share alike; for to do unto others is to do unto oneself.
6. Play nicely. Be a good sport, demonstrate good showmanship and give others the benefit of the doubt.
7. Take time to appreciate. Make it a point to stop what you are doing and observe what is happening around you. Look around and learn to appreciate the people and environment. Develop respect for this opportunity; cherish the experience; savor the moment.
8. Treat this castle as if it was your own. Take pride in it and be thankful.
9. Be generous. When cutting cake always offer the bigger slice to your host.
10. Bow or curtsy in a graceful manner. When making closing salutations always pay proper respect to the master of the house.

Those that cannot follow these rules will be shown the catapult!

Happy June,

The Ambassador of Goodwill