Common Relationship Myths

Relationships are an essential part of our life experience. Through relationships we learn to heal, grow, and find the reflections of our best selves in the those around us. As I pondered about the purpose of romantic relationships recently I thought I'd share some common myths.

1. You Only Get One Person; One Love (or there is only one person out there for you)

If this was true then you would still be with your second grade crush (and maybe you are)! However, this is one of the greatest myths that causes so many relationships to turn bitter, ugly, and sour, or keeps people together despite the fact that they are miserable. You don’t only get “one” person… you choose one person to be with at the time in your life where that relationship with them is loving, fulfilling, and purposeful. Life is in constant motion, and since life constantly changes, you also change. In a relationship as you change individually, you also have the opportunity to change together--in so, you also make a choice. You can continue to choose the same person over and over again but you are not obligated to stay in any relationship that’s not adding to your growth. Healthy relationships are always about freedom, not obligation. If your relationship is starting to crack, look at where you need to be more flexible, loving, and understanding. Communication is key here: listen to one another, ask for what you need, be respectful, and always keep both of your best interests in mind. Relationships are, indeed, a two-way street!

2. "I’ve Had a Tough Life—A Relationship Will Help Heal My Wounds"

Good luck with that! Relationships will bring up everything in your life that is unhealed or broken about you (emotionally or spiritually) but you do not want to use your relationship/partner to heal you—this is something you need to do for yourself. If you rely on your partner to fix you, then you’ve not taken responsibility for yourself and when you are eventually unhappy you will blame them for “not doing it right”.

3. Being In A Relationship is Better Than Being Alone

Not if it’s a bad relationship! Remember that relationships are meant for you to connect with another spirit in order to understand more about yourself. If you are using a relationship to mask loneliness, which is based in fear, your relationship will allow you to forget your loneliness temporarily, but loneliness will still be there. Also, if you are in a bad relationship that is not helping you grow, you cannot attract a good relationship since you already have that vacancy filled!

4. In Relationships, Opposites Attract

Yes, they may attract at first, but they rarely sustain. Having different qualities in one another can certainly be appealing—especially when you first meeting someone, but in the long run you will need to find more common ground on which to walk together. Use your differences to teach one another more about the sides of yourselves you’ve yet to explore and use your relationship to help each other grow. Just be sure to focus on your differences as strengths and whether you agree or not, always be respectful.

5. "I’ve Tried Being In Relationships Before, But I Always Seem To Mess Things Up."

You will get what you intend. Examine what you went into the relationship for in the first place—was it to fill a void in your life? Have someone to take care of? You will need to find peace with yourself before you go into relationship or you will find yourself attempting to deal with your own personal problems through your partner, making your problems theirs or vice versa. Develop a relationship with yourself before going into a relationship with another. Find peace with yourself, your past, and your decisions. Also, if you believe that you will “mess up” a relationship, then you will automatically program yourself into “sabotage-mode” and in time the relationship will, indeed, fail—it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. Set your course for success! Believe that you deserve and will have a positive, loving relationship.

Make this springtime about creating healthy and happy relationships in your life. Happy Spring!

Namaste.

The Ambassador of Goodwill