It Begins With You

Relationships are one of the most important aspects of our lives. Our relationships help us define who we are and who we strive to become. They mirror our strongest feelings about ourselves and show us where we need to grow. Therefore, the first, and most important, relationship we need to develop is with ourselves. All other relationships - family, friends, coworkers, romantic partners - stem from this self love.

True love for oneself comes with the acceptance that all we have experienced and currently are experiencing is a necessary part of our own personal evolution. It also comes from a constant commitment to healing and repairing those parts of our lives where there is still pain, anger, or lack of resolution - which are all based in fear. The purpose of fear is to remind us where we need to place focus in our lives. Feelings such as self-doubt and impatience are clear indicators that we are having a difficult time balancing our priorities with our intentions, and the first person we will blame for that is ourselves. And that is painful. We blame ourselves for "not doing it right", for missing out on a great opportunity, or for repeating the same mistakes. Although these feelings appear to be legitimate they are based in our fears and we may feel powerless to change them.

Fortunately, a key to assist us through these feelings is surrender. Not surrender in the form of quitting, but surrender as a means of releasing our need to: 1) control everything that is happening to us; and 2) releasing our need to know what is going to happen next. In other words, staying present. Being truly present is, in itself, an enormous task especially when we are busy. But being present opens us to the feelings of love and acceptance.

Another support is that we have two helping hands - trust and faith. And the most powerful forms of those two amazing allies - trust and faith in ourselves. Trust in yourself says, "There's nothing I have to have, nothing I have to do, and nothing I have to be, except exactly what I'm being right now." (compliments of Neale Donald Walsch in Conversations with God). We can only expect ourselves to show up each day, take things as they come, and do the best with the knowledge and information that we've been given. Loving yourself releases you from doing or being anything other what who and what you are right now. The rest of life is just "what it is". Faith says, "I was made for a purpose and that purpose is being fulfilled in every moment of my being." This state of being provides the basis for patience - the ability to know that we are in alignment with all that we are requesting in every moment whether it shows up right away or not. There is a divine timing to all things and our trust and faith allows us to accept that reality with gratitude.

Remembering we are divine beings and believing we are perfectly aligned with our purpose in each and every moment - even when the moment may be challenging - gives us the opportunity to be in alignment - to breathe, relax, and center ourselves. When we are in alignment, the miracles we’ve personally requested will come to us. Then we will feel our own personal power. Then God and the Universe can work with and through us. Then, and only then, can we experience true self love.

Namaste,

The Ambassador

In The Zone

"Wow – what an amazing film!” My first words after seeing the powerful and visually stunning film, Avatar, in 3D. The movie was so powerful on many levels—working through physical, emotional and spiritual planes. I was totally engaged. In fact, it took me about 30 minutes to come back to my “reality”.

That feeling of engagement is when you are connected to the energy inside you—the feeling of being fully present and balanced... whether induced by a film, book, or even just a conversation with a good friend or loved one. When you are engaged you are immersed. Being in this state is often termed concentration, but it can also be considered bliss, flow, or what is commonly referred to as being “in the zone”. You do it all the time, but you probably didn’t consciously realize it.

Now you can choose to be engaged in negative or positive energy. Connecting with negative feelings will bring more negative energy, so rather than ignore negative things simply acknowledge them but refuse to play. Avoid negativity by turning your focus to those things (and people!) that are positive and nourishing. Keep your zone clear!

So let’s focus on positive zones. What types are there? If you happen to be drawing, painting, writing, or building something you might be in the Creative Zone. So what about some of the others?

·       Cleaning Zone: How many times do you get the inspiration to clean and suddenly find yourself cleaning a closet, rearranging an entire room, or scrubbing the crusted food off your stovetop? It may help you to be inspired by playing your favorite music or wearing your favorite shirt, but you are definitely engaged in the activity. Suddenly, cleaning is fun and you’re being productive at the same time. Bonus!

·       Reading Zone: You happen to pick up a book, magazine, or newspaper, and you are suddenly drawn into the story or articles. You can feel the emotions, identify with the people/characters, and almost feel the environment surrounding the events of which you are reading. The words seem to transform your current state of consciousness and you "lose yourself". This temporary escape can be fascinating and help you to take a much-needed break. Try it!

·       Spiritual Zone: Often referred to as a state of meditation or deep relaxation, you can detach from your physical and mental forms (body & mind) in order to reconnect with your soul (spirit). In this zone ideas come and go freely, and there is no judgment—it’s all good. With practice it’s quite easy to enter this zone through Deep Breathing, Yoga, Tai Chi, Rebirthing, Guided Meditation, Hypnosis, or Bodywork (including massage, Reiki, and healing touch). Being in the spiritual zone helps put your energy back into alignment, and alignment assist you with your passion and purpose.

·       Physical Zone: Have you ever been completely unmotivated to perform a certain task (i.e., mow the lawn), but once you got off your rear, started moving, and “just did it” you realized your body’s natural energy started to increase? As your blood warms your muscles you naturally begin to emit more energy and you start becoming “energized”. Pretty soon you have forgotten about everything except for mowing that lawn! It’s awesome. Exercise also induces this state of flow, especially when you add your favorite music :o) Remember: when you respond to your body, your body responds to you.

·       Musical Zone: Have you ever been swept away by tranquil classical music or instantly transported back in time by listening to a song? Then you've experience the Musical Zone. Music connects with the spiritual energy inside us and helps to create whatever feeling you need at the moment. In fact, melody and words can transform your mood and take you to a "different" place. It's very powerful.

Now there are other zones but my point is that entering into the zone—any zone—can stimulate your creativity, energize you, and refuel your tank. The most important thing is to get in the zone! Allow yourself to be immersed and feel the positive charge it can bring. And, above all else, have FUN.

Make it a great day,

The Ambassador

Goals or Intentions - What's the Difference?

At the beginning of each new year I always take time to sit down and list my goals for the upcoming year. These goals usually include a mix of career, personal, and family items - and they all contain an "amount" of some sort along with a time frame within which I want to accomplish the goal. For example, one of my goals for 2010 is to eliminate my personal inventory by 50% (reduce, reuse, recycle) by June 1st. This goal will help me follow my own advice and get organized, and by setting this goal with a specific date suddenly makes it measurable. You can do this, too! It's a great way to know what to focus on for the upcoming year.

Now, goal setting was the perfect activity for my mind, but once I had completed my "10 Goals for 2010", my spirit wanted to follow that action by creating intentions. What's the difference? I'm glad you asked. While my favorite web site, Dictionary.com, defines a goal as, "The purpose toward which an endeavor is directed; an objective," intention is defined as, "the end or object intended; purpose." The mind creates an objective; the spirit creates a purpose. Similar, yet unique in their own ways. For example, one of my intentions for 2010 is that I will create more deep and meaningful relationships with others - old friends and new ones. I then added more detail to my intention by describing the types of relationships I want to create and what the result will be from those relationships, but not so much in chronological time (like my goals), but in spiritual time (when they manifest). Plus, at the end of each intention I add, "...this or something better," reminding me that my intentions are adding to the creative momentum that my life takes which could very well lead me to even better things! So it goes.

Another important aspect of setting intentions is to make them for yourself. Whereas goals may include the cooperation and support of others to reach, intentions are "intended" to be for your own growth and development - they cause a change internally. By paying attention to your inner self you make the important personal investment in your own growth and development. Let others be free to create for themselves!

So why did I find it so important to perform both goal and intention-setting activities this year? Because I am practicing the art of the balance factor - engaging my mind, body and my spirit - allowing me to access my deepest truths and assist me in making the best (and highest) possible choices. It's a wonderful growing experience and I always learn more by trying new things!

This week, try setting goals and intentions for yourself in 2010 and make this year a time of transformation, resolution and creative manifestation. Why not? It all begins with you.

Be Well,

The Ambassador

What It Is

Visiting Hawaii again last week helped me put a lot of things back into alignment in my life. I find that each time I am in a place of quiet and beauty with less distractions I turn down the volume on the outside of my life and turn the volume up on the inside. Helpful, indeed!

As I pondered on many aspects of my life I did a lot of writing. One of the main reasons which I love to observe, study and write about balance is because there are so many times in my life where the concept of balance is so discoverable - it shows itself to me in my daily attitudes, actions and words. So one day I decided to write more about what it means to truly be in balance (or in "alignment") with the energy or rhythm of life. Indulge me for a moment as I share with you my perspective about this particular topic from my journaling:

Everything is and always is exactly as it should be. There are no wrong moments. All that exists “behind the scenes” of our every day dramas is well and balanced at all times. What is perceived as being “out of balance” is only when you are out of alignment with the flow (of all that is). There is a constant stream of energy always flowing, you are just not always tapped into it; thus, when you experience this disconnect you’ll find it difficult to maintain balance. The discrepancy between being in the flow and being out of it creates conflict. Fear pushes us out of the stream whereas love can pull us back in.

Relationships also push you out or pull you back into the stream. You will truly be amazed when you finally understand the influence that others have on your sense of balance. Choose wisely where you direct your energies for wherever you choose to pay attention (people, places, and events), your energy goes. Those sources which can give back to you or reflect your own positive energy will serve you whereas those which drain you will not. Believing you can alter or manipulate this process is futile for it is already the course of nature; it is already in motion. Therefore, relationships in which you believe you can truly alter events by your own actions will most likely fail. If you believe you can change somebody else’s behavior, you will learn that it is not possible. You can influence others, but you cannot change them—they, like you, choose to change themselves. You can choose to be a positive influence by acting in kind, but you cannot influence anyone positively if you are not acting in the same energy. Giving is also receiving and vice-versa; we are all connected.

The gift of patience is allowance. If you are truly connected to the flow of all that is, you will allow everything and everyone to be as it is or who they are without resistance. True allowance does not have judgment—either you are in a spirit of acceptance or you are not. Choosing to accept what “is” keeps you in alignment whereas judgment pushes you out, for judgment stems from fear. Love, the opposite of fear, joins; fear divides. This doesn’t mean that you cannot help to influence people and events to bring about a more favorable outcome, but in the end you still need to learn how to accept everything as it is and everyone as they are—this is the key to maintaining internal balance. If you can maintain even keel on the inside it will be reflected on the outside of your life as well.

Happy Holidays!

The Ambassador

Boundaries: The Castle Metaphor

Respecting each others’ boundaries is a critical component in all relationships. Boundaries are limits created by you to protect your values and demonstrate to others which behaviors you will, and will not, accept from them. Creating healthy boundaries helps to create a better sense of self esteem and respect for yourself and others.

For the sake of argument (and to have a little fun), let’s go medieval for a minute and equate personal boundaries with visiting someone’s castle. When you are in someone’s castle you need to be polite and respectful while you are there. Why is this so important? For starters, being allowed to enter into someone’s castle shows they respect you enough to let you into their personal space – basically, they’ve let down their drawbridge. If you can appreciate this fact, you will feel special and respected. But if you don’t appreciate it, you may meet an undesirable fate (see below). Thus, it is critical that you follow the “Rules of the Castle”:

Rules of the Castle

1. Do not steal. This includes taking ANYTHING that isn’t yours to take including physical objects, thoughts, ideas, or attention. Remember: it’s not all about you.
2. Be polite. Always say “Please”, “Thank you”, and “You’re welcome”.
3. Always ask if you are unsure. Assumptions lead to expectations and expectations become seeds of disappointment.
4. Pick-up after yourself. When you are done working or playing pick up your things (books, toys, swords, etc.) and put them back for the next time or the next person.
5. Don’t be selfish. This includes greed and possessiveness. Share and share alike; for to do unto others is to do unto oneself.
6. Play nicely. Be a good sport, demonstrate good showmanship and give others the benefit of the doubt.
7. Take time to appreciate. Make it a point to stop what you are doing and observe what is happening around you. Look around and learn to appreciate the people and environment. Develop respect for this opportunity; cherish the experience; savor the moment.
8. Treat this castle as if it was your own. Take pride in it and be thankful.
9. Be generous. When cutting cake always offer the bigger slice to your host.
10. Bow or curtsy in a graceful manner. When making closing salutations always pay proper respect to the master of the house.

Those that cannot follow these rules will be shown the catapult!

Happy June,

The Ambassador of Goodwill

Common Relationship Myths

Relationships are an essential part of our life experience. Through relationships we learn to heal, grow, and find the reflections of our best selves in the those around us. As I pondered about the purpose of romantic relationships recently I thought I'd share some common myths.

1. You Only Get One Person; One Love (or there is only one person out there for you)

If this was true then you would still be with your second grade crush (and maybe you are)! However, this is one of the greatest myths that causes so many relationships to turn bitter, ugly, and sour, or keeps people together despite the fact that they are miserable. You don’t only get “one” person… you choose one person to be with at the time in your life where that relationship with them is loving, fulfilling, and purposeful. Life is in constant motion, and since life constantly changes, you also change. In a relationship as you change individually, you also have the opportunity to change together--in so, you also make a choice. You can continue to choose the same person over and over again but you are not obligated to stay in any relationship that’s not adding to your growth. Healthy relationships are always about freedom, not obligation. If your relationship is starting to crack, look at where you need to be more flexible, loving, and understanding. Communication is key here: listen to one another, ask for what you need, be respectful, and always keep both of your best interests in mind. Relationships are, indeed, a two-way street!

2. "I’ve Had a Tough Life—A Relationship Will Help Heal My Wounds"

Good luck with that! Relationships will bring up everything in your life that is unhealed or broken about you (emotionally or spiritually) but you do not want to use your relationship/partner to heal you—this is something you need to do for yourself. If you rely on your partner to fix you, then you’ve not taken responsibility for yourself and when you are eventually unhappy you will blame them for “not doing it right”.

3. Being In A Relationship is Better Than Being Alone

Not if it’s a bad relationship! Remember that relationships are meant for you to connect with another spirit in order to understand more about yourself. If you are using a relationship to mask loneliness, which is based in fear, your relationship will allow you to forget your loneliness temporarily, but loneliness will still be there. Also, if you are in a bad relationship that is not helping you grow, you cannot attract a good relationship since you already have that vacancy filled!

4. In Relationships, Opposites Attract

Yes, they may attract at first, but they rarely sustain. Having different qualities in one another can certainly be appealing—especially when you first meeting someone, but in the long run you will need to find more common ground on which to walk together. Use your differences to teach one another more about the sides of yourselves you’ve yet to explore and use your relationship to help each other grow. Just be sure to focus on your differences as strengths and whether you agree or not, always be respectful.

5. "I’ve Tried Being In Relationships Before, But I Always Seem To Mess Things Up."

You will get what you intend. Examine what you went into the relationship for in the first place—was it to fill a void in your life? Have someone to take care of? You will need to find peace with yourself before you go into relationship or you will find yourself attempting to deal with your own personal problems through your partner, making your problems theirs or vice versa. Develop a relationship with yourself before going into a relationship with another. Find peace with yourself, your past, and your decisions. Also, if you believe that you will “mess up” a relationship, then you will automatically program yourself into “sabotage-mode” and in time the relationship will, indeed, fail—it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. Set your course for success! Believe that you deserve and will have a positive, loving relationship.

Make this springtime about creating healthy and happy relationships in your life. Happy Spring!

Namaste.

The Ambassador of Goodwill

Reason, Season or Lifetime?

I wanted to take a moment this week and quote one of my favorite passages about relationships written by Brian A. "Drew" Chalker. Every time I read it I remember how important it is to honor the purpose of our relationships—not only when they begin, but when they end as well. May you find purpose in each and every one of your relationships and value them as a necessary component along your journey!

Peace.

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People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

When someone is in your life for a reason, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem to be like a gift, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be. And, when their reason is done, they will leave your life just as quickly as they entered into it.

Without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand; sometimes they just stop calling; sometimes they move away; sometimes they die. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, our lesson learned. Therefore, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered, and now it is time to move on.

When people come into your life for a season, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, a purpose-filled relationship, or make you laugh. They may teach you things you have never known, but things you will never forget. They usually bring you an unbelievable abundance of joy. Believe it! They are real; but only for a season. Their season may be weeks; months; maybe even years; but when their season is complete, they, too, will leave your life. Sometimes only for the time being; sometimes forever. Bless the relationship; appreciate the season; love the purpose.

Lifetime relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation so that your life may continue to move forward. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. When people enter your life for a lifetime, they are there in good times and bad; they share in your joy and sadness; their love for you is unending. Your connection to them is permanent, and your relationship is unique. Lifetime relationships last a lifetime! This lifetime and often many more; past, present, future; time knows no boundaries in lifetime relationships. They are sacred; holy ground. Treat them with the most respect that comes from the very fiber of your being; for lifetime relationships define your existence.