The Value of Silence

“If you don’t know the answers, wait until you do.”

When used regularly, silence is a powerful tool. The mind, body, and spirit are designed to be active and engaged, but they also require downtime for balance and refreshment. In moments of silence, we can reconnect with ourselves and gain insight, focus, and clarity. Silence can bring us into alignment with our thoughts and feelings and help us to hear the quiet spiritual voice of our intuition.

In order to find silence, we may have to create space for solitude—simple, but not always easy. Taking time for silence is a critical step for moving into alignment. In silence, we can quiet our thoughts, acknowledge our emotions, and relax into our bodies. In other words, we calm our human doing. Whether we use meditation, prayer, or any other type of inner-focusing activity, moving into silence allows us to reconnect with our spirit—our human being.

Silence helps with problem solving and decision making. If we are unsure how to respond to a problem or situation, we can stop, find a quiet space within us, and wait for an answer. As we are waiting for answers, we can develop a calm demeanor, soften our stance, and experiment with patience. Often the answers to our most difficult questions lie in stillness. Silence reminds us to begin within.

Silence allows you to develop a deeper and
more balanced connection with yourself.

Silence is like a spiritual retreat or a healing center—a place where we can go to be alone and reconnect with ourselves. While most traditional counseling is healing for the mind and physical therapy is healing for the body, silence is healing for the spirit.

We can create a space for silence by simply unplugging from the world and turning down the noise. TVs, radios, computers, and mobile phones are powerful means for connecting with others, but the point of silence is to connect with yourself. At first it may seem like you are missing out, but unplugging for periods of time will raise your frequency—and over time, can significantly strengthen and enrich your personal connections. When we lower the volume on the outside of our lives, we raise the volume on the inside. In silence we can discover the true benefits of being still and listening to the calm rhythm within.

This week think about spending some time in silence and experience the benefits. By practicing a little bit each day, my hope is you will soon learn to appreciate the value of silence.

Happy springtime!

The Ambassador

Mind: Teacher, Creature or Companion?

"It's mind over matter." "Do you mind?" "Make up your mind!" "Oh, never mind..." Just think about how frequently "mind" enters our daily conversations. Our minds are an integral part of our three-part being: Mind, Body and Spirit. We often associate mind with our head, thought, and logic. But despite the form in which we imagine our minds to take, let's take a closer look at a few of the different roles our minds play. You mind?

The mind is an amazing and complex teacher. It re-minds us when we’ve forgotten facts or figures and helps us through a challenging intellectual conundrum, whether it’s an academic test or the birthdays of our family members. It causes us to think when we need to make a decision, and uses our previous experiences as a references in order to make a sound decision. It keeps a record of everything we’ve ever thought, said, and done, giving us the gift of contrast (“been there; done that”). It sends us signals that something might be awry and we need to pay attention to it. It is the reflective and supportive adviser – helping us weigh the pros and cons from changing our internet service provider to changing our views about the importance of diet and exercise. It’s with us every day, every hour, every minute, and doesn’t like to be shut off. But once in a while it will allow us to be out of it – maybe for a minute, an hour, or a day – and then when we reunite it's like plugging back in and booting-up.

The mind is an amazing and complex creature. It creeps around and waits for the opportunity to jump out and scare us, or when we’re not looking it sneaks over and steals the cookie off our plate. It walks around with a mirror and tries to make us look into it so it can tease and ridicule us about our appearance, our attitudes, or our behaviors. It is the constant critic carrying around a big fat history book of everything we’ve ever thought, said, and done – and then takes those ideas, words, and actions - twists them, misinterprets them, and uses them against us like a court of law where we are guilty until proven innocent. It has a pocket voice recorder and plays back every negative word that every person has said to us that “sticks” like those little thorn bristles we get all over our socks when we run through a dry field (damn things are always hard to pull off and they poke you. Ouch!) It keeps us up at night, wakes us up with a headache in the morning, and just won’t stop running. And we’re tired of chasing it. Sometimes we’d rather be without it. It controls our manners when we’ve been scolded and is told to "never be” when something has been disregarded. It makes us feel crazy and out of control. It causes us to spiral downward.

The mind is an amazing and complex companion. It is there when we need to remember where we parked the car in the stadium parking lot, or re-minds us who we really are if we forget. It’s there to provide a history of everything we’ve ever thought, said, and done, and re-minds us about our progress and how far we’ve come. It plays back the recordings of anyone who’s ever thanked us, praised us, or shouted our name as we raced toward the finish line. It allows us to take a moment to pause and reflect upon a fond memory triggered by a beautiful song or the smell of fresh-baked cookies. It’s there to help us stay calm amidst a crisis, or speak a kind word to a friend in need. It’s our constant friend, confidant, and partner. And it always answers when we call. It’s there to motivate, encourage, and inspire us, and becomes the coach urging us to hang in there and just keep swimming. It reminds us that it’s okay to make mistakes, and it forgives us every time – no exception. It loves and accepts us as we are. It is our best friend and our family. It holds us when we are alone and reminds us that everything will be okay.

Question: Is your mind the Teacher, Creature or Companion today? Depending on the situation it could be one, two, or all three – but the most important fact is that it’s our choice. We are not a part of our minds; our minds are a part of us. And we have been given the power to choose how our minds work for and with us. When our minds are working for us in a positive and supportive way, we can better connect with our bodies and spirits to bring more alignment and consistency to our lives. That’s the secret to finding more balance!

Today, become aware of your thoughts, the role of your mind, and remember you have the power of choice. Then, choose wisely… for it is, truly, “all in your mind”.

Namaste,

The Ambassador

The True Power of Choice

Body Speaks

On March 27, 2009, I was diagnosed with Level 3 malignant melanoma--skin cancer.

Although there are many different types of skin cancer, melanoma is by far the most lethal and spreads the fastest... that is unless you catch it early. Luckily, I have a great dermatologist, Dr. Ide, who had the eye to spot this suspicious looking mole on my back, take the biopsy, and have it analyzed right away. It was, indeed, a cancerous tumor. His suspicions were right on.

Upon receiving my advanced diagnosis I met with the surgeon, Dr. Economou, another excellent physician from whom I've received surgical support in the past, and the news was that Level 3 was still a step above the level of lymph (Level 4), which is a very good sign. My prognosis was very good. We scheduled my surgery for a wide excision the following week to remove surrounding tissue. The surgery went very smoothly and I'm happy to say that all of my pathology reports came back clear! The cancer has been removed from my body. From diagnosis to cure in two weeks. Now that's incredible.

Mind and Spirit Respond

I happened to be at our home up in Bemidji spending a weekend alone when I got that call from Dr. Ide's office informing me of the initial diagnosis. Not good news--in fact, the worst kind in the case of this cancer. Now to sit and wait for detailed lab results the next week... it was going to be a long weekend. So what kind of mood was I going to be in for three days? Sad? Angry? Worried?

Or, at peace.

Initially I faced my fears as I sorted through the possibilities, but it really didn't last long. I made a choice at that moment to accept this reality, accept my body, and accept the process of what was happening to me. I looked at this diagnosis with gratitude--an opportunity to pay attention to my body and listen to its messages. I was thankful for this "wake-up call" (literally!) to truly love and accept myself as I am.

I immediately moved to thoughts of peace and acceptance. I had every belief that my body was already healed--and that was my choice. I called my Mom & Dad, my sister, and a couple of my closest friends so I could talk about what was happening. As soon as I felt their love and support I was able to stay in that place of peace and acceptance. My body was strong, healthy and disease-free. And I believed it. Sure, I needed to walk through the next two weeks of consultations, surgery and recovery, but in my heart I knew that I was already healed. And so I was.

You see, one of the biggest gifts we all possess is the power of our choices. We choose every day, every hour, every moment, how we respond to the world around us. And in my case I was given a powerful opportunity to make a choice about my body and its ability to heal itself. I chose acceptance and love, not resistance and fear--and that choice stemmed from my belief that I was truly healed. The body may be delivering the most "tangible" message (easiest to recognize), but the mind and spirit are also working in tandem all the time! Thoughts, feelings, intuition--a powerful combination when connected and balanced.

This week I urge you to use your power of choice to create the reality you truly choose to believe regardless of what your current circumstances may appear to be. Take the opportunity to begin within--connect with your mind, body and spirit, and listen to the messages they're sending you. After all, it's your choice.

Peace.

The Ambassador of Goodwill

Common Relationship Myths

Relationships are an essential part of our life experience. Through relationships we learn to heal, grow, and find the reflections of our best selves in the those around us. As I pondered about the purpose of romantic relationships recently I thought I'd share some common myths.

1. You Only Get One Person; One Love (or there is only one person out there for you)

If this was true then you would still be with your second grade crush (and maybe you are)! However, this is one of the greatest myths that causes so many relationships to turn bitter, ugly, and sour, or keeps people together despite the fact that they are miserable. You don’t only get “one” person… you choose one person to be with at the time in your life where that relationship with them is loving, fulfilling, and purposeful. Life is in constant motion, and since life constantly changes, you also change. In a relationship as you change individually, you also have the opportunity to change together--in so, you also make a choice. You can continue to choose the same person over and over again but you are not obligated to stay in any relationship that’s not adding to your growth. Healthy relationships are always about freedom, not obligation. If your relationship is starting to crack, look at where you need to be more flexible, loving, and understanding. Communication is key here: listen to one another, ask for what you need, be respectful, and always keep both of your best interests in mind. Relationships are, indeed, a two-way street!

2. "I’ve Had a Tough Life—A Relationship Will Help Heal My Wounds"

Good luck with that! Relationships will bring up everything in your life that is unhealed or broken about you (emotionally or spiritually) but you do not want to use your relationship/partner to heal you—this is something you need to do for yourself. If you rely on your partner to fix you, then you’ve not taken responsibility for yourself and when you are eventually unhappy you will blame them for “not doing it right”.

3. Being In A Relationship is Better Than Being Alone

Not if it’s a bad relationship! Remember that relationships are meant for you to connect with another spirit in order to understand more about yourself. If you are using a relationship to mask loneliness, which is based in fear, your relationship will allow you to forget your loneliness temporarily, but loneliness will still be there. Also, if you are in a bad relationship that is not helping you grow, you cannot attract a good relationship since you already have that vacancy filled!

4. In Relationships, Opposites Attract

Yes, they may attract at first, but they rarely sustain. Having different qualities in one another can certainly be appealing—especially when you first meeting someone, but in the long run you will need to find more common ground on which to walk together. Use your differences to teach one another more about the sides of yourselves you’ve yet to explore and use your relationship to help each other grow. Just be sure to focus on your differences as strengths and whether you agree or not, always be respectful.

5. "I’ve Tried Being In Relationships Before, But I Always Seem To Mess Things Up."

You will get what you intend. Examine what you went into the relationship for in the first place—was it to fill a void in your life? Have someone to take care of? You will need to find peace with yourself before you go into relationship or you will find yourself attempting to deal with your own personal problems through your partner, making your problems theirs or vice versa. Develop a relationship with yourself before going into a relationship with another. Find peace with yourself, your past, and your decisions. Also, if you believe that you will “mess up” a relationship, then you will automatically program yourself into “sabotage-mode” and in time the relationship will, indeed, fail—it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. Set your course for success! Believe that you deserve and will have a positive, loving relationship.

Make this springtime about creating healthy and happy relationships in your life. Happy Spring!

Namaste.

The Ambassador of Goodwill