The Fear Factor

Unlike the TV program, The Fear Factor, facing our fears usually doesn't involve eating strange exotic bugs or surviving potential suffocation underwater while millions of people watch. Rather, our fears come to us in little annoying thoughts and messages... but sometimes we'd rather eat fat juicy spiders than face our fears. Why? Because we "fear" our fears.

Fear is nothing to be afraid of. In fact, our fears are merely information - signals to pay attention. It's how we respond to that information which makes the biggest difference and the largest impact on our well-being.

So let's apply the topic of fear to the Balance Factor awareness of mind, body and spirit. When we stay only in our minds, we have the potential to take our fears and create all sorts of “thoughts” about them. When we try and think ourselves through our fears we often create more fears in the process. What happens when you are afraid of talking to someone about a sensitive matter? You may create all sorts of their responses based on what you "think" they might say (which may help you prepare to speak to them), but after some good brainstorming we may be more nervous than before. Our minds start going in a hundred different directions based on the "what if..." question. Suddenly our concerns have turned to panic.

What about taking our fear a step deeper? Whereas our minds bring us thoughts, our hearts bring us the feelings surrounding our fears. When we bring our fears into our hearts and examine our feelings, we have the opportunity to see how many of our fears are, in fact, unfounded or silly. Perhaps just paranoia or misunderstanding. Many of our fears are based in the future or the past (I can’t believe I did that… what was I thinking? Or the "woulda should coulda" path). Sometimes we can use our feelings to help direct our responses to fear, but many times our emotions get the best of us and suddenly we're not able to think reasonably. And, once again, our fears take control.

There is an additional level of awareness that brings the most, and deepest, meaning to our fears and that is our spirit - our intuition. Spirit can bring our fears out of the darkness of doubt and into the light of truth. What do you really "know" about the fear are you feeling? How do your thoughts and feelings line-up with your intuition? What really feels true about the situation? Bringing our fears down into our center - becoming aware of our inner knowingness and trusting that gut feeling in our intuition, we now have the ability to tap a deeper level of understanding - our core beliefs - our inner truth.

When we are aware of our thoughts, feelings, and intuition, we have access to the most information from which to create our responses, which in turn create our reality. When we are in alignment with our body, mind, and spirit we can take each into consideration and activate our response based on a new pool of information. That, indeed, will help us to take our fears and deal with them logically, emotionally, and intuitively.

And all without having to eat bugs. Well, not unless you're into that :o)

Namaste,

The Ambassador

It Begins With You

Relationships are one of the most important aspects of our lives. Our relationships help us define who we are and who we strive to become. They mirror our strongest feelings about ourselves and show us where we need to grow. Therefore, the first, and most important, relationship we need to develop is with ourselves. All other relationships - family, friends, coworkers, romantic partners - stem from this self love.

True love for oneself comes with the acceptance that all we have experienced and currently are experiencing is a necessary part of our own personal evolution. It also comes from a constant commitment to healing and repairing those parts of our lives where there is still pain, anger, or lack of resolution - which are all based in fear. The purpose of fear is to remind us where we need to place focus in our lives. Feelings such as self-doubt and impatience are clear indicators that we are having a difficult time balancing our priorities with our intentions, and the first person we will blame for that is ourselves. And that is painful. We blame ourselves for "not doing it right", for missing out on a great opportunity, or for repeating the same mistakes. Although these feelings appear to be legitimate they are based in our fears and we may feel powerless to change them.

Fortunately, a key to assist us through these feelings is surrender. Not surrender in the form of quitting, but surrender as a means of releasing our need to: 1) control everything that is happening to us; and 2) releasing our need to know what is going to happen next. In other words, staying present. Being truly present is, in itself, an enormous task especially when we are busy. But being present opens us to the feelings of love and acceptance.

Another support is that we have two helping hands - trust and faith. And the most powerful forms of those two amazing allies - trust and faith in ourselves. Trust in yourself says, "There's nothing I have to have, nothing I have to do, and nothing I have to be, except exactly what I'm being right now." (compliments of Neale Donald Walsch in Conversations with God). We can only expect ourselves to show up each day, take things as they come, and do the best with the knowledge and information that we've been given. Loving yourself releases you from doing or being anything other what who and what you are right now. The rest of life is just "what it is". Faith says, "I was made for a purpose and that purpose is being fulfilled in every moment of my being." This state of being provides the basis for patience - the ability to know that we are in alignment with all that we are requesting in every moment whether it shows up right away or not. There is a divine timing to all things and our trust and faith allows us to accept that reality with gratitude.

Remembering we are divine beings and believing we are perfectly aligned with our purpose in each and every moment - even when the moment may be challenging - gives us the opportunity to be in alignment - to breathe, relax, and center ourselves. When we are in alignment, the miracles we’ve personally requested will come to us. Then we will feel our own personal power. Then God and the Universe can work with and through us. Then, and only then, can we experience true self love.

Namaste,

The Ambassador

What It Is

Visiting Hawaii again last week helped me put a lot of things back into alignment in my life. I find that each time I am in a place of quiet and beauty with less distractions I turn down the volume on the outside of my life and turn the volume up on the inside. Helpful, indeed!

As I pondered on many aspects of my life I did a lot of writing. One of the main reasons which I love to observe, study and write about balance is because there are so many times in my life where the concept of balance is so discoverable - it shows itself to me in my daily attitudes, actions and words. So one day I decided to write more about what it means to truly be in balance (or in "alignment") with the energy or rhythm of life. Indulge me for a moment as I share with you my perspective about this particular topic from my journaling:

Everything is and always is exactly as it should be. There are no wrong moments. All that exists “behind the scenes” of our every day dramas is well and balanced at all times. What is perceived as being “out of balance” is only when you are out of alignment with the flow (of all that is). There is a constant stream of energy always flowing, you are just not always tapped into it; thus, when you experience this disconnect you’ll find it difficult to maintain balance. The discrepancy between being in the flow and being out of it creates conflict. Fear pushes us out of the stream whereas love can pull us back in.

Relationships also push you out or pull you back into the stream. You will truly be amazed when you finally understand the influence that others have on your sense of balance. Choose wisely where you direct your energies for wherever you choose to pay attention (people, places, and events), your energy goes. Those sources which can give back to you or reflect your own positive energy will serve you whereas those which drain you will not. Believing you can alter or manipulate this process is futile for it is already the course of nature; it is already in motion. Therefore, relationships in which you believe you can truly alter events by your own actions will most likely fail. If you believe you can change somebody else’s behavior, you will learn that it is not possible. You can influence others, but you cannot change them—they, like you, choose to change themselves. You can choose to be a positive influence by acting in kind, but you cannot influence anyone positively if you are not acting in the same energy. Giving is also receiving and vice-versa; we are all connected.

The gift of patience is allowance. If you are truly connected to the flow of all that is, you will allow everything and everyone to be as it is or who they are without resistance. True allowance does not have judgment—either you are in a spirit of acceptance or you are not. Choosing to accept what “is” keeps you in alignment whereas judgment pushes you out, for judgment stems from fear. Love, the opposite of fear, joins; fear divides. This doesn’t mean that you cannot help to influence people and events to bring about a more favorable outcome, but in the end you still need to learn how to accept everything as it is and everyone as they are—this is the key to maintaining internal balance. If you can maintain even keel on the inside it will be reflected on the outside of your life as well.

Happy Holidays!

The Ambassador

What is The Balance Factor?

The Balance Factor began with two very different life-altering conversations.

The first occurred in 1996 when a good friend and I stood in front of a hand-drawn picture on his wall depicting three rings: yellow, red, and blue, each intersecting one another like the rings of the Olympic symbol. I asked him what this picture meant and he replied, “Balance of mind, body, spirit. Three domains of energy each on its own, yet united in equal portions create balance.” I understood what he meant right away for he had articulated something I’d also observed—there’s a sense of balance in life, and this balance is found through a harmonious blending of the mind, body, and spirit.

The second conversation was with myself, thanks to Shirley MacLaine in the The Evening Star (the follow-up film to Terms of Endearment), when her character, Aurora, states, “I have come to the conclusion there’s no such thing as a mistake; I think we all create what we need.” When I heard those words I had another light bulb moment. Until then, my focus was on the external factors bringing me insight into the meaning of my past and present, but Aurora's words triggered my focus to move inward. I suddenly realized the process of creation actually begins inside of me. My outer experience is merely a reflection of what’s happening on the inside! This inner perspective resonated with me for several days. I wondered, could I really have a hand in creating my experiences, including my mistakes? Could I truly be the creator of both my “good” and “bad” experiences?

Eventually I came to the conclusion that I was, indeed, creating my own experience by managing my response to what was happening around me. Even though my reactions were natural and rather spontaneous (part of the human animal), I could choose my responses. I had a hand in creating every thought I’d been thinking, choice I’d been making, consequence I was experiencing—every joy and every pain! But the deepest truth was that all of it was necessary. Each mistake was an opportunity in disguise—a lesson to learn more about who I really was.

I began to focus my energy on paying more attention to the idea that my mind, body and spirit each played an integral part in determining my thoughts, feelings and intuition. As my awareness of how they were all connected increased, so did creating new experiences become my new reality. It was a moment of truth when I realized that I was truly the artist of my own life – I finally felt alive, awake and empowered. Through a three step process of 1) Awareness, 2) Alignment, and 3) Activation, I've been able to use this perspective of mind, body and spirit to help assist me with every decision I make. I can now listen to all three: thoughts, feelings and intuition! And, in return, my decisions (and outcomes) are in alignment with my current state of being. This is good!

My questions to you: How do you engage your mind, body and spirit in your life? How much balance do you feel? How can a change in your awareness lead you to a more balanced perspective? Why am I asking you so many questions? Because when you ask questions, you get answers... sometimes when you least expect them!

Just remember: Ask and you shall receive.

Happy Autumn!

The Ambassador