What is The Balance Factor?

The Balance Factor began with two very different life-altering conversations.

The first occurred in 1996 when a good friend and I stood in front of a hand-drawn picture on his wall depicting three rings: yellow, red, and blue, each intersecting one another like the rings of the Olympic symbol. I asked him what this picture meant and he replied, “Balance of mind, body, spirit. Three domains of energy each on its own, yet united in equal portions create balance.” I understood what he meant right away for he had articulated something I’d also observed—there’s a sense of balance in life, and this balance is found through a harmonious blending of the mind, body, and spirit.

The second conversation was with myself, thanks to Shirley MacLaine in the The Evening Star (the follow-up film to Terms of Endearment), when her character, Aurora, states, “I have come to the conclusion there’s no such thing as a mistake; I think we all create what we need.” When I heard those words I had another light bulb moment. Until then, my focus was on the external factors bringing me insight into the meaning of my past and present, but Aurora's words triggered my focus to move inward. I suddenly realized the process of creation actually begins inside of me. My outer experience is merely a reflection of what’s happening on the inside! This inner perspective resonated with me for several days. I wondered, could I really have a hand in creating my experiences, including my mistakes? Could I truly be the creator of both my “good” and “bad” experiences?

Eventually I came to the conclusion that I was, indeed, creating my own experience by managing my response to what was happening around me. Even though my reactions were natural and rather spontaneous (part of the human animal), I could choose my responses. I had a hand in creating every thought I’d been thinking, choice I’d been making, consequence I was experiencing—every joy and every pain! But the deepest truth was that all of it was necessary. Each mistake was an opportunity in disguise—a lesson to learn more about who I really was.

I began to focus my energy on paying more attention to the idea that my mind, body and spirit each played an integral part in determining my thoughts, feelings and intuition. As my awareness of how they were all connected increased, so did creating new experiences become my new reality. It was a moment of truth when I realized that I was truly the artist of my own life – I finally felt alive, awake and empowered. Through a three step process of 1) Awareness, 2) Alignment, and 3) Activation, I've been able to use this perspective of mind, body and spirit to help assist me with every decision I make. I can now listen to all three: thoughts, feelings and intuition! And, in return, my decisions (and outcomes) are in alignment with my current state of being. This is good!

My questions to you: How do you engage your mind, body and spirit in your life? How much balance do you feel? How can a change in your awareness lead you to a more balanced perspective? Why am I asking you so many questions? Because when you ask questions, you get answers... sometimes when you least expect them!

Just remember: Ask and you shall receive.

Happy Autumn!

The Ambassador

Spiritual Time

These past couple months I've been living on a completely different clock than I have in years. Before I moved back to Bemidji at the beginning of June, I was working full time and living my life according to the Monday through Friday work week schedule and at the end of each week hoping to find time to manifest my creative projects with the little energy and attention I'd have left. I found myself slipping further and further away from my creative spark - and for someone like me, that's not a good thing. I couldn't create the time necessary to let my creative muse express itself and I started to feel stuck.

So I made a change. I moved away from the Monday-Friday, 8:00am-5:00pm life I'd created and released my need to be on chronological time... I moved into the realm of spiritual time. To better understand what is meant by spiritual time I'd like to quote one of my favorite spiritual guides and a good friend, Jennifer Hoffman, with an excerpt from her recent newsletter:

"In your material concept of time each day contains 24 hours and you have limited time to do things. You fill your day with activities and things that you must do and often feel that you do not have time to do the things you want to do. There is no time to pursue your interests and dreams because of the obligations and distractions that fill your day. As you move towards greater spiritual understanding you will also move from material time to spiritual time. In spiritual time there are no limits on your time, no waiting or need for patience.

...Many of you are learning lessons in patience and you translate this as having to wait for the right time for things to happen. Yet it is not about time, but about the manifestation process occurring in spiritual time. When you are impatient you are experiencing fear and doubt and the passage of time makes you uncomfortable because you feel that nothing is happening. Everything is happening and you can be aware of this when you remove your focus on material time from the process.

...You are obsessed with the timing of events because you feel you are not in the right time or place. Yet you are always creating your reality in the perfect way. In order to work with the Universal energy you must also work with spiritual time, which does not recognize hours, days or weeks. Its energy flows according to your focus, requests and direction. Without the limitations of time you would be aware of how effortlessly things manifest for you. Spend a portion of your day in spiritual time and you will see how quickly the Universe responds to your requests. Remove the limitations of impatience and doubt and feel the flow of the Universe rushing to meet your every need. Step into spiritual time and into the age of miracles to manifest the reality of your dreams, and they will always occur at the perfect time."

(Read more about Jennifer, her books, and subscribe to her newsletter at urielheals.com)

Living on spiritual time has allowed my creativity to run free! I have been in the creative zone for the past month manifesting my dream to sell my photography and share my inspiration from the world, and it's been amazing how fast it's taken off. I wasn't sure how it was going to all work out, but I have just allowed the process to unfold by tuning in to my intuition and listening to what moves my spirit. The results have been astounding! I've been selling my photography books, cards, and prints at local art shows, coffee houses, stores and restaurants. What inspired my spirit is now inspiring hundreds of others. This, indeed, I could not have done unless I'd taken "time" to allow this dream to manifest.

Funny - even my friend Shawn realized my new reality and ended up giving me a watchband to wear, but has no watch--just a blank metal plate. It's perfect! Now I'm truly living on Universal time :o)

Even though moving away from a Monday-Friday full time job may not be a reasonable option for you, I challenge you to follow Jennifer's advice and spend some moments in spiritual time so you can allow your spirit to inspire you and manifest your requests. This is part of the creative process and plays an integral part of the purpose you are creating as you travel down your life path. Give yourself the opportunity to tap your creative potential by exploring your horizons and releasing your limitations.

May you, too, find your inspiration from the world.

Namaste,

The Ambassador

Live Simply

Live simply,
so others may
simply live.

Mother Theresa

Boundaries: The Castle Metaphor

Respecting each others’ boundaries is a critical component in all relationships. Boundaries are limits created by you to protect your values and demonstrate to others which behaviors you will, and will not, accept from them. Creating healthy boundaries helps to create a better sense of self esteem and respect for yourself and others.

For the sake of argument (and to have a little fun), let’s go medieval for a minute and equate personal boundaries with visiting someone’s castle. When you are in someone’s castle you need to be polite and respectful while you are there. Why is this so important? For starters, being allowed to enter into someone’s castle shows they respect you enough to let you into their personal space – basically, they’ve let down their drawbridge. If you can appreciate this fact, you will feel special and respected. But if you don’t appreciate it, you may meet an undesirable fate (see below). Thus, it is critical that you follow the “Rules of the Castle”:

Rules of the Castle

1. Do not steal. This includes taking ANYTHING that isn’t yours to take including physical objects, thoughts, ideas, or attention. Remember: it’s not all about you.
2. Be polite. Always say “Please”, “Thank you”, and “You’re welcome”.
3. Always ask if you are unsure. Assumptions lead to expectations and expectations become seeds of disappointment.
4. Pick-up after yourself. When you are done working or playing pick up your things (books, toys, swords, etc.) and put them back for the next time or the next person.
5. Don’t be selfish. This includes greed and possessiveness. Share and share alike; for to do unto others is to do unto oneself.
6. Play nicely. Be a good sport, demonstrate good showmanship and give others the benefit of the doubt.
7. Take time to appreciate. Make it a point to stop what you are doing and observe what is happening around you. Look around and learn to appreciate the people and environment. Develop respect for this opportunity; cherish the experience; savor the moment.
8. Treat this castle as if it was your own. Take pride in it and be thankful.
9. Be generous. When cutting cake always offer the bigger slice to your host.
10. Bow or curtsy in a graceful manner. When making closing salutations always pay proper respect to the master of the house.

Those that cannot follow these rules will be shown the catapult!

Happy June,

The Ambassador of Goodwill

Reframing Events

Photo by D. A. Garriss

When looking back on the events of our lives we often recall memories that carry an emotional charge. The feelings evoked from memories can be positive: those of happiness, joy and enthusiasm; but they can also be negative and bring back memories of pain, anger, and resentment. So how do we use memories to serve us rather than hurt us? We learn to reframe.

Many times our memories can serve us well. Through the process of reminiscing, recall of positive memories can aid in healing depression or just lift your spirits! We can use positive memory triggers such as a pictures, songs, old love letters, etc., to evoke feelings of happiness and contentment. You will notice this type of behavior most commonly demonstrated in people as they age. By being in touch with our “sentimental side", we are able to invoke memories that bring us continued happiness and a feeling of well-being.

Our memories can also be sources of pain and turmoil. Negative feelings from memories are often a result of unresolved issues or unexpressed emotions associated with an event or person, and since these issues have not been resolved they carry a large burden of repressed emotions in connection with them. These memories may be from childhood - a time when we were not mature enough to understand how to deal with event or circumstance - so the lack of maturity and insight may have caused us to feel like a victim, whether or not we actually were. By nature, we conjured up the human “fight or flight” response, in which our bodies automatically protect themselves and moved into a state of denial. This denial only caused the associated feelings to be repressed in the mind and body where they will stay until eventually released... or not.

People spend millions of dollars each year to open old wounds and re-visit painful memories to try and make sense of them. Many methods such as counseling, meditation, rebirthing, hypnosis, therapy, etc., seek to uncover the roots of repressed memories and apply present wisdom to help release and heal them. Whichever method(s) you choose it's important to release any memories which have been repressed in the mind and body, for unexpressed emotions are the root of dis-ease.

Once we have released the associated repressed emotions (hurt, anger, fear, resentment, etc.) we can learn to look at the event in a new light. This can be achieved by reframing the event, or using a new and different perspective. Reframing includes revisiting an event, remembering the words that were said, actions that took place, reactions and thoughts that were playing through your mind at the time, and then remembering the conclusion you made based on those variables. When we undergo this process we may realize maybe we were wrong in our assumptions or conclusions. Now we are forced to examine those assumptions to see if they are still valid. We may often assume that we were at fault for the outcomes of events when the reality is that we were not at fault at all. By reframing the event with an updated understanding we can see the true reality that was underlying the event all along.

Above all else, reframing events allows us to learn to accept. Acceptance is a critical step in personal evolution as it honors the relationship between you and the rest of the world. To learn how to accept events and people as they are will be a catalyst for your continued growth, and reframing will allow you to understand the memories of your life with an attitude of acceptance, appreciation and gratitude - no matter what the events are or may have been.

This week, take the opportunity to think about where there may be opportunities for healing in your life. Could reframing help you to move beyond pain and into resolution? Give it some thought.

Be Well.

The Ambassador of Goodwill

The True Power of Choice

Body Speaks

On March 27, 2009, I was diagnosed with Level 3 malignant melanoma--skin cancer.

Although there are many different types of skin cancer, melanoma is by far the most lethal and spreads the fastest... that is unless you catch it early. Luckily, I have a great dermatologist, Dr. Ide, who had the eye to spot this suspicious looking mole on my back, take the biopsy, and have it analyzed right away. It was, indeed, a cancerous tumor. His suspicions were right on.

Upon receiving my advanced diagnosis I met with the surgeon, Dr. Economou, another excellent physician from whom I've received surgical support in the past, and the news was that Level 3 was still a step above the level of lymph (Level 4), which is a very good sign. My prognosis was very good. We scheduled my surgery for a wide excision the following week to remove surrounding tissue. The surgery went very smoothly and I'm happy to say that all of my pathology reports came back clear! The cancer has been removed from my body. From diagnosis to cure in two weeks. Now that's incredible.

Mind and Spirit Respond

I happened to be at our home up in Bemidji spending a weekend alone when I got that call from Dr. Ide's office informing me of the initial diagnosis. Not good news--in fact, the worst kind in the case of this cancer. Now to sit and wait for detailed lab results the next week... it was going to be a long weekend. So what kind of mood was I going to be in for three days? Sad? Angry? Worried?

Or, at peace.

Initially I faced my fears as I sorted through the possibilities, but it really didn't last long. I made a choice at that moment to accept this reality, accept my body, and accept the process of what was happening to me. I looked at this diagnosis with gratitude--an opportunity to pay attention to my body and listen to its messages. I was thankful for this "wake-up call" (literally!) to truly love and accept myself as I am.

I immediately moved to thoughts of peace and acceptance. I had every belief that my body was already healed--and that was my choice. I called my Mom & Dad, my sister, and a couple of my closest friends so I could talk about what was happening. As soon as I felt their love and support I was able to stay in that place of peace and acceptance. My body was strong, healthy and disease-free. And I believed it. Sure, I needed to walk through the next two weeks of consultations, surgery and recovery, but in my heart I knew that I was already healed. And so I was.

You see, one of the biggest gifts we all possess is the power of our choices. We choose every day, every hour, every moment, how we respond to the world around us. And in my case I was given a powerful opportunity to make a choice about my body and its ability to heal itself. I chose acceptance and love, not resistance and fear--and that choice stemmed from my belief that I was truly healed. The body may be delivering the most "tangible" message (easiest to recognize), but the mind and spirit are also working in tandem all the time! Thoughts, feelings, intuition--a powerful combination when connected and balanced.

This week I urge you to use your power of choice to create the reality you truly choose to believe regardless of what your current circumstances may appear to be. Take the opportunity to begin within--connect with your mind, body and spirit, and listen to the messages they're sending you. After all, it's your choice.

Peace.

The Ambassador of Goodwill

Common Relationship Myths

Relationships are an essential part of our life experience. Through relationships we learn to heal, grow, and find the reflections of our best selves in the those around us. As I pondered about the purpose of romantic relationships recently I thought I'd share some common myths.

1. You Only Get One Person; One Love (or there is only one person out there for you)

If this was true then you would still be with your second grade crush (and maybe you are)! However, this is one of the greatest myths that causes so many relationships to turn bitter, ugly, and sour, or keeps people together despite the fact that they are miserable. You don’t only get “one” person… you choose one person to be with at the time in your life where that relationship with them is loving, fulfilling, and purposeful. Life is in constant motion, and since life constantly changes, you also change. In a relationship as you change individually, you also have the opportunity to change together--in so, you also make a choice. You can continue to choose the same person over and over again but you are not obligated to stay in any relationship that’s not adding to your growth. Healthy relationships are always about freedom, not obligation. If your relationship is starting to crack, look at where you need to be more flexible, loving, and understanding. Communication is key here: listen to one another, ask for what you need, be respectful, and always keep both of your best interests in mind. Relationships are, indeed, a two-way street!

2. "I’ve Had a Tough Life—A Relationship Will Help Heal My Wounds"

Good luck with that! Relationships will bring up everything in your life that is unhealed or broken about you (emotionally or spiritually) but you do not want to use your relationship/partner to heal you—this is something you need to do for yourself. If you rely on your partner to fix you, then you’ve not taken responsibility for yourself and when you are eventually unhappy you will blame them for “not doing it right”.

3. Being In A Relationship is Better Than Being Alone

Not if it’s a bad relationship! Remember that relationships are meant for you to connect with another spirit in order to understand more about yourself. If you are using a relationship to mask loneliness, which is based in fear, your relationship will allow you to forget your loneliness temporarily, but loneliness will still be there. Also, if you are in a bad relationship that is not helping you grow, you cannot attract a good relationship since you already have that vacancy filled!

4. In Relationships, Opposites Attract

Yes, they may attract at first, but they rarely sustain. Having different qualities in one another can certainly be appealing—especially when you first meeting someone, but in the long run you will need to find more common ground on which to walk together. Use your differences to teach one another more about the sides of yourselves you’ve yet to explore and use your relationship to help each other grow. Just be sure to focus on your differences as strengths and whether you agree or not, always be respectful.

5. "I’ve Tried Being In Relationships Before, But I Always Seem To Mess Things Up."

You will get what you intend. Examine what you went into the relationship for in the first place—was it to fill a void in your life? Have someone to take care of? You will need to find peace with yourself before you go into relationship or you will find yourself attempting to deal with your own personal problems through your partner, making your problems theirs or vice versa. Develop a relationship with yourself before going into a relationship with another. Find peace with yourself, your past, and your decisions. Also, if you believe that you will “mess up” a relationship, then you will automatically program yourself into “sabotage-mode” and in time the relationship will, indeed, fail—it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. Set your course for success! Believe that you deserve and will have a positive, loving relationship.

Make this springtime about creating healthy and happy relationships in your life. Happy Spring!

Namaste.

The Ambassador of Goodwill